Sally is 48, and her life has changed a lot from when she was in her thirties.“When I was 30, I was married and following my husband’s military career around the country,” she says.They might have been married before, or have children, or have had a few long-term relationships.Maybe they thought they’d have found “the one” by now; on the other hand, the exact opposite may be true for them. As far as their priorities and expectations, I think many start to think differently about what’s really important in a partner and a relationship.“I didn’t really have a career, though I was getting whatever job I could when his job transferred us, and at the time, I was working in a university’s fundraising department.” Sally is now divorced and lives alone.Rather than picking up another “whatever” job, she’s spent five years establishing a career as an IT project manager.“I spent my twenties and thirties traveling the world solo,” she says.“I am not—nor have I ever been—interested in marriage or kids.” These two women are quite different, but one thing’s for certain: They’ve lived through enough to know what does and doesn’t work for them. A woman in her forties is bound to have a lot more dating experience than when she was younger.
Steinberg says that acknowledging a newfound confidence—or lack of insecurity—is key to understanding a woman in her forties.“I’m firmly in the camp that it’s better to be single than in a bad relationship,” she says.“So any relationship would have to be better than just being by myself.” Despite admitting that her requirements for a partner are a little “vague,” she does have a few boxes she’d like ticked. “Someone I can talk to and collaborate with as an equal partner.As clichéd as it sounds, it’s important to be respectful and accommodating to people’s journeys and that includes where they’re at with their insecurities.Think single women in their forties spend their days pining for a husband and wishing they’d had more children? “Having friends and pets is enough for me,” says Nicole when asked if she ever feels pressured to have a family.Someone who I can connect with mentally and emotionally. Pretty much everything other than that is negotiable.” Steinberg says she’s also seen women in their forties with a desire for a partner who’s more of an equal. are looking for emotionally and financially stable men who will be their partners and equals in life,” she says, “Most single women in their forties have an established career, are doing well financially on their own, have traveled the world, and have full lives.